I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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