sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
