she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize