I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
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He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
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There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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