we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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