Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
