They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
