don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
