why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
