I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My penis needs a shock collar
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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