i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
