Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
