There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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