You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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