oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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