better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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