I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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