Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
