belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize