I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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