K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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