The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
