Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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