May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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