Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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