Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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