Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
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My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
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BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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