i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize