her vagine was all disorganized.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
