forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
