he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
