Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
