hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
