her vagine was all disorganized.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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