Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
