I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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