i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
