Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
