i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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