Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have fence marks all over my body
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
