she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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