After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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