he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize