i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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