You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
