Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize