This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
