I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
