I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize