Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the condom got lost in my hair
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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