sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
