atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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