Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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