Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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