Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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