But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
