ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
