Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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