He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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