I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
