Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
