I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
