what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
